It’s not that Bailey minded the idea of walking. What she really didn’t like was the idea of falling. She simply would not walk until she knew she could do it well. She’s pulled up and cruised for several months, but she saw no need to let go before she could actually go somewhere on those two squishy feet.
My dad thinks it could be perfectionist tendencies getting in the way already. Maybe so. I think she might have inherited a portion of Mama’s don’t-want-a-face-full-of-floor syndrome. Let me give you an example.
When I was in third grade, anybody who was anybody celebrated her birthday with a party at the Opp Skating Rink. It was all the rage. There’s no telling how many times we played “wipeout” when the scratchy voice over the PA told us to, or – so romantic – couple-skated to Garth Brooks’ “Shameless” as the disco ball cast lights across the floor.
(Of course, there was no “Shameless” at my birthday party because my parents insisted on only playing Christian music…and that was back before we had discovered cool Christian music like Michael W. Smith or Steven Curtis Chapman. Southern-gospel-quartet wipeout, anyone? Kids’-praise limbo?)
Anyway. Most of the time, you could find me hanging close to the painted wooden rails enclosing the rink. Only the thrill-seekers ventured to the middle of the floor…those who would go home with a few more bruises after their cake and potato chips. Me, I felt more comfortable within falling distance of the old trusty rail. Busting it just wasn’t worth the thrill.
So Bailey has finally let go of the couch…and even my hand, most of the time. It’s not that my daughter and I are not adventurous. We just see no need to volunteer for unnecessary physical pain or that scary rush of being out of control.
Lack of control. I think that’s really what it boils down to. It’s why my husband avoids amusement park rides – he can’t drive. I’ve told him that, next time, I’ll bring him a little fake steering wheel so at least he can feel like he’s in control.
Why do we crave control? Why do we think we are so capable? Why does Gunter think he would do a better job driving a roller coaster than letting it run on the track for which it was designed?!
Our being in control is all an illusion, anyway, but with a couch, a rail or a steering wheel…a secure job, a healthy body, talents, money in the bank, people to love us, an active ministry, a full schedule... we think we have control.
As I got ready to spend time with God this morning, questions churned in my mind. I am constantly in need of wisdom to know how to raise my daughter, how to act on certain decisions, how to handle what’s on my plate. I bet right now, your own struggles are popping up in your mind, too. I have the tendency to want to think through my problems, turn them over and over until I solve them in the conference room of my own head. Work myself into a pure frazzle. Wisdom beyond myself – that’s what I needed this morning.
And there it was in 1 Samuel 18:14: “David was acting wisely in all his ways for the Lord was with him.” (Also see verses 5, 12, 28 and 30).
David acted wisely – not because he had it all together. Not because he was in control of his circumstances. Not because the answers were easy or he was a good problem-solver.
He acted wisely because the Lord was with him. Liberating, isn’t it?
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